Sunshine on my window

“Why don’t these photos make the news?” Thanks Fiona.

O’Reilly’s Loofa

Bwahahaha. The thought of Bill O’Reily having sex is totally gross, but by George it’s funny to think this particular Respected National TV host’s non-existent credibility is now even more non-existent.

Weighing in on Bolty*

Disclaimer: At the risk of having my employment threatened, I just want to say that Andrew Bolt is a “respected national columnist” and he totally rocks my world.**

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Ausculture‘s Jess points out that even the Herald Sun agrees Bolty is a waste of space.

Why does he keep spouting off the same RWDB opinions over and over again? No one cares, Andy, sweetie-dear.

Yes, we know you’re against anything which has an even remote connection to being fair to people and/or accepting that some pretty awful things happened in this country in the past which we might be able to learn from.

So there’s no need for you to tell us that the Australian Research Council providing

grants for 10 more investigations on gender issues, eight on race or racism, another five on reconciliation and seven on global warming. Plus a couple of studies on how anti-terrorism laws are a menace, and Islamism isn’t

is bad.

Heaven forbid people trying to find some ways to solve Global Warming. What’s the point in that?

I have agree with him on the anti-terror law thing though. Everyone already knows they’re a menace, why do we need to do a study on it? Bah, damn those Leftie Academics and their eschewing of economic rationalism!

But does he really need to be whinging about the Eureka Conference? Of course he’s going to hate it; he’s so damn predictable that he doesn’t need to even mention it. Hello, it’s to celebrate the 150th of the EUREKA STOCKADE.

No Liberals have turned up to speak.

My. God. Isn’t that just shocking?

I think the Right needs some new material.

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* How can I consider myself a playa on the Left of the Blogosphere if I didn’t have at least one post on the critically acclaimed genius-slash-unstoppable sex god himself?

** Did you ever play Opposites Day at primary school? Ah, the memories are flooding back.

The L-Word

Before my Politics and Media exam yesterday* I ran into this American Study Abroad student whom I accidently snogged last month (it turned out that he’d postal-voted for Shrub, thus making it an Accident**). When he learned my exam was for a unit run by our Illustrious Collage of Arts Foudation Dean who also happens to be a Big Leftie, my American friend kindly offered me some, uh, sage advice to help me pass.

“Be liberal,” he said. “Simon will love it.”

If I were hispanic, I would’ve done that don-tchu-no-giv-me-noh-ahtitood neck rotation thing*** and said “You don’t have to tell me to be liberal, honey, it runs in my veins.” But I’m not, so I just laughed nervously at a further generalisation he made about my lecturer, politely wished him well for his exam and excused myself. Back. Away. From the Republican. Slowly. His ignorance could be contaigious and might be set off by sudden movements.

Anyway, the way this guy mentioned being ‘liberal’ got me thinking. It was like he thought being ‘liberal’ was contrary to the way human beings would/should normally operate and must only be feigned when writing an exam set by some weirdo commie bastard who may or may not have worked at a terrorist training camp in Cuba.

It was like being liberal was dirty.

What the hell is with some people’s problem with liberalism, huh? Why is it bad to think that everyone deserves a chance to access decent education, healthcare, reasonable living and working conditions and a fair? Why is it wrong to support civilised diplomacy rather than reckless aggression, fairer income re-distribution, services which benefit larger parts of the community and not just those who can afford it, equal pay for equal work, the right of women to choose what happens to their bodies, the right of people to choose their faith coupled with an obligation to not impose their beliefs on others, the right of grown adults to decide whom they want to marry, and the sustainable use of natural resources?

Please, just let me know where I’ve got it wrong, because it’s killing me.

Now, if I am totally and utterly convinced by flawless and brilliant reasoning (something other than If It’s Not Right It’s Wrong, please) that I’m in the wrong camp and I capitulate and repent for the error of my nasty liberal ways, what should I do? How should I act? What am I supposed to believe in? (Heaven would forbid me, as a new Tory, to think for myself.) The Democratic Underground author I’ve linked to above points out that

many conservatives I have met usually espouse one or more programs and policies that are mainly self serving – including the reduction or elimination of taxes, protection of the status quo and states rights irrespective of societal inequities, “my” religious convictions – not yours, prosperity at any cost, business interests – not the public’s, the right to own assault weapons, a powerful military rather than universal public health and education, or finally America first – the U.N. never! In a more vernacular sense, “I’ve got mine, Jack, to hell with you.”

Don’t Americans love themselves from being the land of liberty? Well then get with the facts, dammit, and celebrate liberalism. Because it means sticking up for everyone, not just yourself. Because it means giving a fuck.

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* The exam was a treat, and I think I did pretty well. For the question on blogging, I quoted John Quiggin, Tim Dunlop and Robert Corr, and for the question on the media’s role in Iraq I mentioned stuff I’d blogged about last week. I knew I started doing this for a reason!

** Note to self: interrogate all potential snoggees about their political viewpoints beforehand, regardless of cuteness.

*** That would be rotation on the y-axis, cf the chick in The Exorcist. I can’t think of a better way to describe it right now.

PS — More on the Shrub election: The Election is Over. The Fight is not.